Diaries of a Retail Clerk: Velcro Crotch

It has been many moons since I’ve posted in this category, but I ran across our employee diary the other day and thought my readers could all use a chuckle.  In case you never read about the saga behind the Christmas Ornament Phonecall or the Peter Tork Tapestry or the Woman who left me screaming,”TMI!  TMI!”This blog category was birthed from an employee diary we kept while I worked at a fabric store.  I worked there 12 years.  You can only imagine the questions and projects we ran across.  Employees wrote down stories of especially memorable customers.  Some are written by myself, while other stories have been shared by fellow employees who have agreed to let me post them here. 

This story was shared by my one of my co-workers.  She seemed to always get the UNDERWEAR questions…

Dear Diary,

A trim woman in her 60’s came in recently who had a “dilemma.”  She loved to wear jumpsuits, but she was finding it increasingly difficult to go to the restroom-so she had a (and I quote) “BRILLIANT” idea!

Thanks ASOS for the image.

She had opened the crotch seam of her pantsuit and had hand-sewn a zipper into the seam.  The seam allowance was VERY TINY, and it looked as if her stitches were done by Captain Hook.  As you might imagine, this did not lend itself to an attractive result.  It gaped everywhere and she wondered if she should perhaps try velcro instead?  There was, of course, the chafing factor, as well as the possibility of sitting down to a very loud velcro-ripping-apart noise.  She was very determined to have “full crotch access”, so I showed her a better hand stitching technique for the zipper and wished her luck!  She has not returned, therefore I can only assume that the zipper worked or that she has abandoned pantsuits altogether!

All my Love,

Mrs. S



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