It was July of last year. I didn’t have a job. I hadn’t had one in 7 months. We had bills to pay. We were hanging on by a thread. I knew the storm would blow over-but how soon?
I ran across this photo today. It’s not anything fancy. I like the colors and subject matter, but it was taken on my phone, through the window of a moving car.
It’s from the drive of my first “assignment.” Not having had any luck finding employment, I succumbed to the call of “internet jobs.” Yes, in true desperate form, I signed up to be a “secret shopper” while I held out for the right job. For my first task, my husband and I drove 40 miles to a nearby small town to see a movie. But before the film, I first had to make mental notes of cashier names, cleanliness of the restroom, how many people occupied our theater and many other detailed queries from the property owner. The town and venue were equally depressing, and it made me even more depressed that I had to go to these lengths just so Matt and I could have a date. However, we were thankful for the opportunity to have a free date night! (and just a few weeks following I found the right job! :))
Why am I posting about this? Sometimes things look really bad. They feel really bad. You think, “God, could life be any worse?!” And yes, yes it could. We all have different paradigms in which we place ourselves, see ourselves. My “difficult circumstances” during that time were only relative to me and my definitions of that very phrase. We all have to endure heavy storms. We get through it, hopefully with love and support from our friends and family, regardless of crude decisions. Paradigms have to shift. I am constantly re-positioning myself in an ever-shifting world. What I think should happen may never happen. Hang out in the thunderstorm, but walk out of the darkness at some point, no matter how drenched you may be. Eventually you’ll dry off.
The night that we sat in that theater, enjoying our free flick and popcorn, a storm blew through that tiny town- flash flood type storm. We emerged from the darkness and blindly ran to the truck while being pelted by torrential rain. After a few minutes the clouds closed their doors and we were able to drive home. In the deep of the night, we drove past a park which had become a lake.